


Diagnosis

by floofle_von_snoofle



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, M/M, Mental Illness, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 11:37:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9438470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floofle_von_snoofle/pseuds/floofle_von_snoofle
Summary: Every single doctor he talked to agreed: Fell needed therapy.





	1. Chapter 1

When he finally got a psychological evaluation from a human psychologist, the doctor told him he suffered from post traumatic stress disorder. He wasn't sure what the reason was for their diagnosis. Regardless, every single human doctor he talked to about it said he had post traumatic stress disorder and that it seemed to occur very frequently in his wave of monsters.

Fell couldn't say he was surprised his world left him messed up. What he was shocked about was that humans had a name for the result. What he was surprised about was that they had a name for those little things he didn't think about until then.

That they had a name for that morbid moment he was reclined on the couch with Swap in his lap and suddenly thought of snapping his neck.

That they had a name for that terrible dream he had the other night that resulted in him waking up with his hands around Swap's neck.

That they had a name for those times he was talking to his brother, and he suddenly felt the crippling fear of his brother turning into dust before his sights.

The point is, he was surprised that things he considered normal were not at all. And it made him worry about ever having a good, meaningful relationship with Swap. Or anyone, for that matter. He was dangerous. He was not someone you approached.

But at the end of the day, he knew humans could do it. Humans who had been through wars for years. And they made marriages work for many, many years. So. If humans could do it, so could he.


	2. Night terrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night terror that's been brought up in "Restless" and the first chapter.

Fell tossed and turned. He didn't sleep most nights, not every Papyrus did like Swap did. But it was nights like these that he wished to never sleep again.

_It's so real. He's back at home, back underground. He's back to his childhood home. His parents are screaming, and he and Sans are pretending to just play. They listen though. Their father throwing things around, their mother cussing him out. They know this too well. Their father comes in, screaming as he takes out his anger on his children. Papyrus leaves with a scar over his socket that day._

_It's so real. He's back in the burning skeleton village in Hotland. Mothers are begging not to let their babies be killed, less heeded the older they get. He's crying with Sans at their mother and father's corpse, weeping so much that one and the other may die._

_It's so real. He isn't sure whether to be hot or cold in the CORE, but it hardly matters when your brother only has 1 HP after merciless experimentation and he's thinking of hurting him again. "AFTER EVERYTHING I DO FOR YOU UNGRATEFUL SNOTS, YOU DECIDE TO-" He pushes, and the good doctor is no more. His last words are never known, and they don't matter. No one remembers except him._

_It's so real. He's got his hands around the murderer's neck, growling that he better die or the next days will be the most agonizing he's ever been through. His hands wrap tighter and tighter, and he is touched on the shoulder. He's startled and he hears a voice._

"babe, it's me!"

Fell's sockets fly open, and he's got his hands around his neck. Fell's hands are shaking, and sweat is dripping from his clammy bones. "babe, you're alright, you're fine...you're not underground, you're here, you're safe..."

Fell stayed silent for a good while. His breathing, he couldn't stop hyperventilating. Swap quietly coaxes him back to reality, and once he's back, he's crying, he's crying that he should have done more.

Swap consoles him with a long, long embrace. "I need my brother..."  And Swap is making a phone call to Red, telling him his brother had another night terror. Red is there swiftly, even if he's had to drive all the way with a bun in the oven.

Fell cries and cries until it turns into sleeping as his brother reads his favorite story. Swap thanks him, smiling as he goes to sleep, more peaceful dreams this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an author's note: I wouldn't advise doing what Swap did here to someone having a night terror. Yes, you should reassure the person they're safe, but you should not to touch them.


	3. "I'm fine"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's the thing about flashbacks. They're nothing like in the movies.

It's easy to rationalize that Sans is alright. Sans is safe, he's smiling right in front of him.

What's not so easy is that feeling he gets on that Sans is going to turn to dust the second he turns around after checking on what he's cooking. It's worse when he can  _hear_ the sound of bones snapping out of the blue. Far worse is when he can feel the ashy dust monsters turn to when they die. It's usually there one second, then gone.

But that's the thing about flashbacks. They're nothing like in human movies. Flashbacks are not only that you're in the moment again. It can be reliving the feeling. Yes, it can cause dissociation. Yes, it has left him terrified even with the rationality that things are okay.

Fell is there with his brother, talking about the baby. What will the name be? Does he think that the little one will have Red's sharp teeth? Blue's broad shoulders? Will they inherit the blue magic both parents have? Or will they defy the odds and inherit green magic from their great grandfather? Maybe they won't have blue or green, but yellow, the secondary magic of their fathers.

It's abruptly that the skeleton finds himself shaking. He feels dread that he's being watched, that he's not alone with his brother. He starts looking around, and Sans asks, "are you okay?" To which Papyrus nods even though the answer is a roaring "no".

It eventually goes away, but the entire time, he was terrified. Even when it was rationalized that he was okay.


	4. Underfell sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I deleted this chapter thinking things messed up hhhhhh

Red stared in the mirror, hands running over the cracks in his bones.

The one at the very top of his skull was a result of an experiment gone wrong.

The ones running along his ribs, be couldn't even remember which one came from where.

Then, there's...The one he really can't stand to think of too much. He doesn't remember the face of the one who did this, but he remembers what happened. He remembers it preceding his brother's first and last murder in cold blood. He's never been so scared of his brother in his whole life.

Shaking his head, Red stepped into the shower to get himself clean. Had to go to another job interview.


End file.
